All posts by The Natural Mammas

Life and Death-It All Comes Naturally

Today I find myself on a very long car ride with the family for what will likely prove to be a very emotional weekend. Originally, our adventure was purely for pleasure including a stay at a hotel with a pool and a family wedding in the mountains. As my oldest daughter LOVES weddings (or the fairy tale version of most that she has read about) she is most excited to attend this; it will be her first. As I said this was the original plan, but a sad turn of events has added to our long weekend away and we are now including a memorial service for a very dear friend of mine. This tragedy has already had me in a bit of a mess and as I watch the lines on the highway drift by, I am thinking more about death and marriage and how my own children will deal with these emotionally opposite events in the upcoming days.

My friend, who passed with his daughter in a fire, has been a pretty special friend for the past 20 or more years. Although we may go for a few years without seeing each other, we have always known deep down that we care deeply for each other. To my own children however, they have never met this friend. They only see the sadness that I am feeling, which I do not hide. While I do not intend to take my children with me to the Celebration of Life Ceremony, they will still feel and see my emotions flex and change over the next day or so and it is important to me that I approach the subject of death in a way that they get the most benefit from this experience; without fear.

Before I continue, I would like to say that I believe the diversity in religious beliefs are what make our civilization strongest. We are not a culmination of people on the same boat ride. That would make us one big ship of fools. Instead, we all hold our own beliefs about death and about life for that matter and I teach my children the importance of respecting other people’s beliefs while leaving the door open for them to make their own determinations about life and death when they are emotionally and intellectually ready. The goal of my following words about death and talking to children about death are in no way meant to criticize or disrespect anybody’s personal beliefs on the subject.

As with most children, my children have been exposed to death on some level on many occasions in life so far. We’ve seen bugs die, there have been the unfortunate spider squashing incidences (these occur no matter how much we push for putting the creatures out the door), we have gardens that live and die each season and our oldest has dealt with the loss of several family pets-all of natural causes. We speak openly in our house about death. There is an understanding that all things that are alive, will die. And while everything does in fact die, I wonder what that statement really means to my 5 year old.

We have 2 family dogs buried in our woods and she often asks if we can dig them up to see their bones which tells me that she understands to a degree the permanence of death. We have tried to keep communication open by never disregarding her questions or telling her that any question is inappropriate. We never want death to become taboo in our house. Most of all we are always willing to say that we don’t have the answers. Quite simply; nobody knows. My favorite line at times is “I wonder about that too, but no one knows for sure.”

Just as there are phrases that we use when talking to children about death, there are also phrases that I avoid. Children sense our doubts and even the smallest of white lies can create distrust. Saying that death is like “going to sleep for a long time” is just setting your child up for future sleeping disorders and simplifying death as the deceased “went away” can be equally confusing as many people in a child’s life go away and still come back. Obviously this would not be the case when a loved one dies. Let your child take the lead and ask the questions. Give answers that you can believe in yourself. It is also perfectly okay to tell your child that “no one knows for sure, but I like to believe…” It is important emotionally for your child to feel comfortable talking about death as well as using it in imaginative play. Even if their question seems completely inappropriate, you need to respect a child’s curiosity and give the best answers a parent can give; honest ones.

As for my family’s journey this weekend, I plan to include my children in my emotional journey (even though they will not be with me at every moment) to show them that joy and sadness do not have to limit each other. To show them that it is okay to mourn just as it is okay to love and to be happy or sad. The wedding will be an event they will never forget; that is for sure.

How do you talk to children about death in your home? How do you talk about love?

Homemade Mac And Cheese Recipe

natural homemade mac and cheeseHere is a recipe for homemade macaroni and cheese that’s so super tasty and reheats very easily  so makes great leftovers!  Makes a great stand alone meal especially when paired with a fresh salad, or, is an excellent side dish too!

 

Homemade Mac And Cheese Recipe
Recipe Type: Main Dish
Prep time: 1 hour
Cook time: 45 mins
Total time: 1 hour 45 mins
Serves: 6-8
Here is a homemade macaroni and cheese recipe that’s perfect as a side dish or as the main dish served with salad. Enjoy it for dinner tonight!
Ingredients
  • 1lb pasta (elbow, bow tie, spirals, etc)
  • 3/4 C bread crumbs
  • 5 T Butter
  • 3 T Flour
  • 2 1/2 C milk or milk substitute
  • 8 oz cheddar cheese
  • 8oz Colby cheese
  • 1 t dried mustard
  • 1/4 t nutmeg
  • salt and pepper to taste
Instructions
  1. Preheat the oven to 350
  2. Generously butter a 2 qt baking dish
  3. Boil pot of water and cook macaroni
  4. Melt 3 T butter in a large sauce pan
  5. Now, add the flour and stir over moderate heat for 2 min stirring constantly
  6. Next add the milk gradually while you stir with a fork. Keep stirring until mixture is thickened; about 3min.
  7. Cut cheese into chunks and add half of each kind to the milk mixture and stir until all melted.
  8. Add spices, salt, and pepper
  9. Once the macaroni is done, drain and add to pan.
  10. Pour cheese sauce over pasta and mix
  11. Add the rest of the cheese cubes and stir a bit more
  12. Melt the rest of the butter in a pan
  13. Add bread crumbs and brown for a min.
  14. Sprinkle bread crumbs over cheese covered pasta
  15. Bake in pre heated oven for 45 min or until bubbly and golden on top

 

What Natural Medicines Do You Rely On?

You never know when someone’s going to need some type of remedy to fix them up; the probability of something happening is even higher when you’ve got a family.  Now, I’m definitely no boy scout – I’m not always prepared, it’s actually quite the opposite – but, I do keep around a few staples in the medicine cabinet that we’ve come to rely on for our natural health care.

Arnica Montana Flower for Natural HealthArnica

The homeopathic remedy Arnica is definitely the first medicine I think of when I consider natural medicines we rely on here at our house.  It’s amazing for bruises; we’ve avoided many a black and blue mark by taking Arnica after injuries.  And, it’s just as good for sore muscles and trauma.

 

Garlic oil for natural healthGarlic and Mullein Oil

Garlic and Mullein oil (or just garlic oil if you can’t find it w/the Muellin) is excellent for curing ear infections.  In fact, I’ve known people to say they just stick a clove of garlic in their ear if it is achy and have avoided antibiotics that way too.   The oil form is a bit more comfortable to put in the ear than the clove and is highly effective in our experience; especially if you catch the ear infection/ache right at the start.

 

Tea tree oil plant and natural healthTea Tree Oil

Tea Tree Oil has multiple uses in our home because of it’s antibacterial properties.  For natural health care we’ve used tea tree oil as a soak for particularly nasty scrapes (just a few drops in a bowl of water and soak for a bit) and you can make a light antibiotic spray the same way just put into a bottle w/a spray nozzle.

 

Natural Medicine Valerian Root with Bottle Valerian Root

I keep Valerian Root around as we all have difficulty sleeping from time to time either because of illness or sleeplessness.  A touch of Valerian is excellent for getting the sleep needed to heal and rejuvenate and it doesn’t make you “need it” or feel “groggy” in the morning.  There are even formulations w/out alcohol made for children too.

 

A spoonful of honey for natural healthHoney

We all love honey!  Even when we’re not sick but, especially when we’re not feeling well.  Honey too has anti bacterial properties so is quite beneficial in many ways.  The kind of honey is somewhat important – organic honey is great, there is raw honey and that has even more health benefits and then there are certain types of raw honey that have more beneficial properties than others.  Any type of honey can be healing inside and out though.

Some of the ways you can use honey include taking spoonfuls to help coat a sore throat, in warm water to sooth a cough/respiratory illness, and on a bandage to help heal, fight infection, as well as to prevent the bandage from sticking to the wound.

 

What are your favorites?  Are there natural medicines you always keep stocked?  Some you can’t stand?

Of course we all have to make different choices about our health care from time to time and there have been quite a few situations in my life where I’m exceedingly grateful that allopathic medicine has been there to help return someone I love back to health too.  Maybe there are some medicines you rely on that might not be described as exactly natural but are totally essential.

Please, come share about what you’ve got in your medicine cabinet so we can all stay healthy and heal our families as naturally as possible.